Self-reflection and introspection -why i'm angry

Sorry, this won't be as funny as I usually am in my cynism, but I don't make you read.


At the moment I feel like a puppy begging for attention, it's disgusting.

'Hey, look at me! I'm right here! I'm good, I promise. Pet me, hug me, love me, be my friend!- Can I be your friend?I like you!'
I bet I'm even panting.

There are things I swore I'd never do again or let happen again in my life
and now I can't look at myself.

I have a problem with setting boundaries, even in school I was almost bipolar in my reactions:
a) you hurt me and I pretend nothing happens/you're not there/you didn't just say that while you keep going with more insults or ignorance and a 'friendly' smile on your face and I swallow my anger, my pain just to breakdown at home,
or:
b) you hurt me and I jump in your face and try to break your nose and after a few seconds I push you away and walk away because I just scared myself.

When it would have been better to just give an  'until here and no further.' or simply ask 'what is wrong with you/or me/or the world that you are this way?' and get an honest answer.

I can't hit the line right. Or is it a whole grey area? For everyone else it seems such a big space full of possibilities, for me it's insult or get insulted or just shut the fuck up, get away and don't say anything to anyone or you'll explode into the first face that comes into view, whether friend or foe.

I just need a real hug and someone who cares for no other reason than they want to because I'm me.
Not an act.
No expectation that I can't reach or don't know how.
Just me.
And I give back, too! The minute I realise someone can 'see' me and it's OK with them I'm the lion on your team, am there whenever and however you need me, fight your fights with you.
I got hurt too many times to enjoy trickery now and expect it behind every corner until I feel safe enough to relax.

Since my first step on American soil my subconscious was on high alert, agitated, scared of getting lost and hoping for any new helping hand.
Hopes up, hopes crushed, hopes up, hopes crushed.
Burn your hand twice and you'll need gloves.


So I have my mask on.
'Hey, I'm so cool, I can make jokes out of my past hardships and no matter what you do or say to me (or not say), you can't hurt me, I'm awesome'
-meanwhile my self-image crumbles and I sit in a big puddle of mud and can't get out.
-But as long as no one can see it, it's alright, isn't it?

Isn't it.

Guys and girls rant

Hey, America, why is it so hard to find guy friends here? I mean real male people that drink vodka, like and make crude jokes, enjoy great music&bang their heads (I mean, really? you guys are at a concert and stand there like idiots and clap at the end of a song like the japanese do?man, you must be frustrating for the bands cause in Europe the fun starts with a mosh pit somewhere on front, with bumping your neighbour while dancing and grr or laugh because you enjoy the fucking show! And believe it or not, you can dance next to a girl even if you don't want to take her home, the clubs would be empty if it wasn't so) , watch horror movies and laugh about them or laugh at you when you jump at every bump, that don't do the whole I'm-so-sensitive-and-pc-I-get-offended-by-the-blunt-truth-and-meaningless-jokes-bullshit just because you're a girl.

There's always the sex question, and maybe I think you're hot or you think I'm hot or both (or neither, but that's not the point here), but that doesn't mean you have to play the psycho game or just stay away as far as possible as if I had the plague, grow up for Gods' sake, say what you mean and get over it!
And trust me, I can control myself even if you think you're God's gift to women. You won't get ravished if you don't want to *wink*
(See what I did here? Omg, i made a joke! you probably wouldn't have noticed if I didn't put the *wink* at the end -and yes, this is sarcasm.)

Is it really either "I'm nice because I want to bang the chick" or "Not interested, so she doesn't deserve an iota of friendliness or attention cause I don't make a profit" and you probably think you do the other party a favor. -No, it's just your base and gutless way out.
Is it all black or white sociopathic consideration?
Do you think it's ok to ignore people standing next to you so they'll take 'the hint'
instead of just saying 'look, i don't have time right now, maybe later.'
See, it works without promises or insults or making the girl feel like you think of her as a piece of shit. Now that hint is understood and it's ok -as long as you don't have a mental patient in front of you.

In Europe I'm friends with guys I had sex with in the past, guys I could never have sex with and guys I'd bang and none of that matters in the way of friendship, of hanging out in clubs or at home, of -ooooh- touching or talking in public.

I've got too much estrogen around me wherever I go here -I'm not the person who can dabble in giving each other senseless compliments about skirts or the colors of each others eyes and shit and giggle to pass the time or talk about having kids and engagement rings (eeeeek! Maybe I'm the only girl who doesn't give a shit about diamonds and talking for hours about drooly toddlers and giving birth -soooo not happening. And no, I'm not, because the true girl-friends I have don't do it either, we moved out of Stepford before it got weird).
 If I like something on you, male or female, I can say 'dude, your piercings are sick', 'damn, chickie, you have a nice ass' etc and mean it -or don't say it at all.
-If you get insulted by a compliment you have a problem. If you have a problem with hearing me say something about somebody else ('that girl has huge boobs','that guy is really hot'), you should discuss it with your teenage ego instead of being offended ( do people here get offended as a hobby? they get offended by TV, by each others clothes, behavior that wasn't even directed at them; they try to tell people they should be offended by something they aren't offended by -we had that topic already).

-Why do I have to stand in the girls' corner and the guys can have the fun and banter? (I love partying in strip clubs with guys, drinking, dancing and rating the girls, but everyone seems so squeamish here, it's so hard to get a crew together *hint*)
I already break out in cold sweat before the party even started!
Do I have to play the part and watch myself and question every reaction and every word that comes out of my mouth?
It's really hard to find girls here who can stand up for themselves, can take blunt-no-girly-girl-kissy-face-talk and are nice.
Just because the high school cheerleaders were mean perfidious bitches doesn't mean you have to copy them when you're grown-up enough to drink.
And 

So usually I think guys are easier to deal with because there's no drama, maybe I was wrong and it's just another kind of psychological warfare.

There are also these weird unofficial dating rules I heard about, you can find them on dating websites, in magazines and in girl and boy cliques -but that's for another time :)

Why I didn't keep up this blog as planned -Part 1

There are many reasons this didn't work as well as i'd hoped.
I hate whining on a blog that's not supposed to be your personal diary.
Bitching about certain things and ideas is OK,  i mean, that's what comedians make their money with, but personal complaints and self-pity for everyone to see -not my thing, i don't want your pity, i hate feeling weak and i hate admitting any kind of defeat. -so if i don't have anything else to say/write about, i just shut up and wait for better times. And so I waited. And waited...

When I came to the states I was scared shitless from the beginning.
I thought it was a bad idea for me from the start, but I believed in my husband and I believed in his friends to help me adjust and there were so many positive stories about life and work here and my qualifications and that people wanted us to be here and help us and wanted to show me things...I wanted to believe.



That's when the first problems started. Now keep in mind this is my personal story:
My health basically sucks. I have more chronic illnesses than I'd wish upon anyone.
But that's alright because we have good health insurance here, right? Right...
We paid more for medication and copay etc than I'd ever imagined.
In Germany you have to have health insurance just to live in the country.
Everyone is insured, everyone is taken care of, no matter if you're unemployed,  disabled, have a mental problem or cancer. If you don't have the money for insurance, the state takes care of it. You. Are. Insured.

You never have to worry about health problems that turn into a financial crisis.
If you have a car accident, you're taken care of -no fights with the other persons insurance  no fight with your own insurance. Everything healthwise is taken care of and you won't have to fear for losing your home, having no money to buy food or losing your damn job because you're sick (no matter how long it takes).
You don't have to go to work with a broken collar bone because you'd lose your job otherwise.
They want you to be healthy and productive and you can't be productive if you're in constant pain or having problems later on because you didn't let your break/flu/injury heal properly.

You have the best doctors in the world here in the states -if you have the money to pay for them.
In Germany that's not an issue. Basic health insurance is for everyone.-and our basic contains more than US basic!
You don't have to tangle with your provider for every freaking thing you need done. We don't have nurses in a doctor's office that only do paperwork and fight with insurance companies. We don't need labs that take your blood with tests that cost a fortune because of 'legal problems' (or better say: without being scared of being sued to oblivion and ridiculous insurances that cost them a fortune because of said fear).
a blood test i got done in Germany every 3-6 months (because i'm diabetic and i have crohn's) that cost me nothing there and even if i had to pay for it, it wouldn't be more than 200-300€, costs 1600$ here for Christ's sake!
If you need a cat scan or a colonoscopy in the states your doctor has to fight your case with the insurance company and then THEY tell you when and where to go IF you're allowed to have one! And you have to figure out how to pay your copay.
In Germany doctor's don't order a big procedure just because they feel like it, they order it because it's NEEDED and the insurance has to cover it, end of story.
And if you don't like your doc, choose another one(and that counts for primary physicians as well as obgyns and other specialists, you choose, your insurance doesn't choose for you).

In Germany you have 5-10€ copay to your medication, tops. They even stopped doc visit co pays altogether in 2013, but before that it was 10€ to your primary and if you didn't have a referral it was 10€ to your specialist -per term,as in every 3months, NOT per visit!
-If your yearly copay is over 2% of your income, you can even get a free pass.
You get yellow slips from your doctor that exempt you from work if you're too sick or too contagious to work and by law you have to stay home, no employer can make you go to work if they got a yellow slip from you -and they can't fire you either (and they get reimbursed for paying your wage in that time, so there's no loss).
Here you have to take vacation days if you get a procedure done or you have to go back to work although you just got needles stuck into your eyes!
And every time you see a doc, it's 20,30,40,50$ a pop(=every.single.time.you.go.there) depending on your health insurance.

And still there are people who begrudge a general health insurance in the states?
People suffer, good law abiding working people have to borrow money from their friends and families for crucial medication and have to do crowdfunding to get enough money for vital treatments,
and still people think there's nothing wrong here?

How many people with mental health problems end up on the streets because they couldn't afford therapy?

So  I met all my new doctors($), got blood tests done($$), had a colonoscopy($$$), got the crohn's disease angle checked and confirmed($$), finally got a prescription for it($$$ jupp, that much),
found out after months of suffering through 'mosquito attacks'in the summer that I was just allergic to the medication($$), got new stuff($$), outlasted the itch and rash and pingpong-reaction with other illness etc($$ and miserable-ness), hoped for the best, a biopsy on the rash they insisted on to make sure it's a rash($$),  had the flu from hell two times ($ as the meds lower my immune system), got scared into a CAT scan by my primary because i had insomnia for a while now and lost most of my sense of taste over the summer -but in the end just asked my GI for another change of medication and 5 days later i had my taste back($$), so cancelled the scan (so I didn't have to $$$ for something I didn't need), got told by the OB/gyn of my primary's choice when i arrived there for my appointment that they're not covered by my insurance and the first visit alone would be 175$(screw that).
The hubby got his annual checkup($$), then got Lyme disease from a tick bite (and worked through all the pain and sweats and antibiotics for a month $$), had the flu($), got tonsilitis($$), he gets needles stuck in his eyes every 6 weeks($$)...and those are just the basics of the last months beside all our regular $$ for diabetes related medication for both of us, thyroid pills and other fun stuff.
Think I now have some experience with the health system here? damn straight.
I'm broke with coverage and I don't even want to think about being without it.

For Part 2 I have to collect myself, so it might take a while again, bare with me.

How to be German in 25 easy steps -Part 3

So today we come to the last part of

how to be german in 25 easy steps -Part 3:

21. EAT GERMAN "BREAD"

Come on, to be fair you have to admit that your bread sucks.

I'm not one of these tree hugging organic people, but what Americans call bread is an insult. 

It's some kind of manipulated white tasteless flour stripped of all its nutrients, most of the time the second ingredient listed is high fructose corn syrup, rye bread doesn't taste of rye but of a ton of caraway -which is supposed to be a SPICE that lifts the bread taste not the other way around and -everything has the consistency of  stodgy pappy toast. No, worse than toast. you can compress a whole bread with your hands without much force to 1/4-1/3 of its original size.

-That's still not bothering you?

And no one feels bad about sending their young kids to school or kindergarden with double piece of junk with jelly and peanut butter in between -wait, carbs on top of carbs on top of carbs with no vitamins, minerals or anything that's worth eating as a full meal? Oh, yeah, that makes so much sense!

In Germany you get lots of bread options -toast, baguette, rough farmer's bread, hoagie bread, with seeds, without seeds, whole wheat, rye, mixed, white breads, pita bread...there's one thing they have in common: yeast/barm, no damn baking powdered mess. Be it sourdough, quick rise or whatever.

I was so disgusted by the American bread options -and trust me, I  tried them all for months and months (and putting salami or Leberwurst - no, you don't slice Leberwurst like salami, you take it our of the casing and spread it on your bread- on that sweet stuff was so hard, I started eating it with jam or Nutella only) I finally caved in and started baking my own bread.

So there, a German bread obsessed.

22. ALWAYS SEND FRIENDLY GREETINGS

I don't know what the fuss is about. I never got an English US email or letter without the standardized 'best regards', 'regards', 'sincerely' or 'yours faithfully', in German it's just 'MfG' or 'VG' or something like that.

-and don't tell me anything about being 'offending'!

It seems like in the US everybody has the hobby of telling other people what should or shouldn't offend them.

-blackface is a total no-no, but it's OK to paint yourself 'red' for the Mummers Parade to look like an American Indian?

-there was a complete tirade when the pixiwoo sisters (from UK) did a make-up review and used the term 'black skin' and even had to apologize for it. 

Amazingly, no people of 'dark' skin felt offended (I mean, when you're in Europe dark skinned people come from everywhere -Ghana, Namibia  South Africa, Holland, the US...there's no generalized term possible like 'African American' -and seriously, if I was from Nigeria and someone called me African American, then I'd be really offended!).

-even subcultural acts want to tell females to be offended by other bands' 'racist or misogynistic' cover and video art while the females would happily throw themselves unto the stage to perform with the band.

-Americans are offended by things that were said or things someone didn't say,  with every joke they ask a hundred questions just to make sure nothing was meant to offend them, the tone of your voice, your clothes...no matter what, they'll probably find something, so don't even try but take everything with a pinch of salt, please?

After I put my foot in my mouth a couple of times, I'd rather not say anything at all.

23. SAY TSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSCHÜSSSSSSSSSSSS

It makes me feel so homesick, I just want to hear someone 'tschüss' again while I leave a store...

24. KNOW THE ANSWER IS TO BRING KARTOFFELSALAT

For me, BBQ was never about the meat, it's about condiments and salads.

Potato salad is a standard (although it depends on the area you come from what you put in your salad-my grandma always puts a diced apple in hers <3 and="and" i="i" it="it" like="like" most="most" nbsp="nbsp" not="not" people="people" s="s">that

 much work to put it together and bring to a party.

I have always been a pasta salad kind of girl - Nudelsalat is the best, I could make a huuuuuuge bowl and it'll be gone the next day, I could eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner and if it sat in fridge for a night it tastes even better than fresh.

If anyone is interested, I could post my recipe here.

I made it for a party in the states and it was gone so fast!

25. PROST!! 

Well, how do I explain this...

In medieval times everyone used to prost and clink their cups together as a sign of trust, so the drinks would mix a little as the liquid slops over and everyone was sure they weren't poisoned by anyone in the group.

Looking someone in the eyes while prosting was part of etiquette once, but not anymore.

Now we only do it in a group of friends at the pub or at a party as a joke:

'The one who doesn't look people in the eyes while prosting will have 7 years of bad sex'.

Another stupid drinking joke is:

whenever someone in your group burps, you have to raise your hand to your forehead with pinkie and thumb extended like this and yell 'Schulz!' -the last one to do this will get smacked on the forehead.

And that's the end of our list.

If you have any questions, traditions or sightings you want to me explain, feel free to comment!

Missed part 1&2?
http://hairandcultureshock.blogspot.com/2013/01/how-to-be-german-in-25-easy-steps-part-1.html

http://hairandcultureshock.blogspot.com/2013/01/how-to-be-german-in-25-easy-steps-part-2.html

how to be german in 25 easy steps -Part 2

So this is part 2 of a German explains and wonders about
how to be german in 20 easy steps part 2


Enjoy -and if you have any questions, feel free to ask ;)

11. EAT SAUERKRAUT

Sour and salty is to us like sweet and sour for Chinese.

It tastes good. Just like Americans like their sweet potatoes with *shudder* marshmallows on top (really???).

But that doesn't mean -as I already said in the last post- not all Germans eat sauerkraut and sauerkraut and coarse bratwurst or sauerkraut and kassler are their own meals and I never knew anyone who just ate sauerkraut by itself without potatoes or potato-mash.

12. LOOK FOR A JOB

As I already said in #7

"In Germany everything works with college qualifications or apprenticeships (which usually take 3 years work and vocational school, you have to take a test at the end to prove you're fit to do the job you apprenticed for).

If you get a job without that, you only get minimum wage (waiter, call center, bar maid, cleaning crew...) or you're a student with a side job. Your boss won't pay for part of your health insurance either and you won't get paid vacation time."

A real job in Germany counts as a full-time job, something with health benefits, enough money to pay your rent, living costs etc and no job, that just gets paid by the hour and you need 3 of those to survive and you're not f'%&$ed when you get sick for longer periods of time because you get paid anyway.

13. LEARN HOW TO OPEN A BEER BOTTLE WITH ANYTHING BUT A BOTTLE OPENER

As a teenager, that's basically the first thing you learn to do -open your beer with a lighter or on a sharp edge no matter whether a window sill, a knife, a spoon or whatever.

One of my friends could open his beer with a folded piece of paper.

-What would your parents say if they see a bottle opener on your key-chain or you took the family opener out on the street with you?

14. SAY WHAT YOU MEAN

Everyone here in the US says "Hi, how are you?" no matter where you go, the doctor's office, the store, the pub...

Now how many of those people actually mean it and want to know about how you feel or how your day went?

The nurse in the doctor's office should realize that the question answered itself 

because you have an appointment or came in there unannounced, so you feel sick, right?

And the person at the checkout recites the sentence cause it's in the book/rules.

So why do you all do and say your weird little small talks and make people think you 'care' until you come to the point and they realize you did all this because you want something from them?

Your boss doesn't need to be 'nice' to you an

d pretend that you're oh-so-good-friends and you're no 5 year old who needs to hear good things before the critique starts. Grow up.

Americans talk around the point a lot and for foreigners who aren't used to your culture, your language and your way to treat things have a big problem seeing through all these diversions and take it as pure fakeness when they get it.

Same with talking with a higher octave to appear friendly -that's a thing you do with toddlers because they're not developed enough yet and it seems ridiculous when people hear your normal voice after a while.

You don't need to butter up, it just makes you seem more slippery.

15. FEEL MIXED ABOUT BERLIN

I don't know about other people and there are probably a lot who love Berlin and many move or try to move there, but for me it's just a tourist stronghold (like bavaria for that matter) and full of hipsters.

There are quirky and artsy people everywhere, you don't need Berlin for that.

On top of that, I'm a child of the Ruhr Area, a big blob in the middle of a lot of nothing like Berlin just isn't for me.

16. HATE BAVARIA

Exactly as the text says.

Everyone's German prejudice comes from Bavaria and most of the time, we, the 'other' Germans 1. don't understand what they say either 2. think they all seem like parts of sentimental films with regional background from the 50s/60s (but not our part of 'native') -in German it's called 'Heimatfilm' and 3. call it shady/murky/dusky Germany 'Dunkeldeutschland'

17. SPEAK FREELY ABOUT SEX

Maybe now I'm totally prejudiced, but skinny dipping is an English term, so you must do it, too, right?

And not talking openly (even at school etc) about sex is what makes teens use snickers wrappers instead of condoms, wives unhappy with their husbands and women feel like freaks when they find something 'unusual'(whatever that means to you).

But I'm from the land where actors can keep their ass cracks in movies and TV series(they just won't show them at noon but when little kids are supposed to be in bed and that's not only because of sex scenes but because of violence and language as well) and no one watching TV gets a heart attack because Angelina Jolie has nipples when she has sex with Ethan Hawke in Taking lives .
Get over it.

18. LOVE YOUR CAR.

I don't even have a driver's license, but I see the guys lingering at the self-car-wash at the weekends cleaning their Mercedes and Volkswagen and Toyotas and being proud of them. Just like many do in the states.
There are car clubs in the US, there are car clubs in Germany.

Cars, even German cars, cost A LOT more in Germany than in the states.
If you can afford one, treat it right, make it look nice, so you'll be able to sell it later when you want/need another one.

Dads ask about the car their daughter's boyfriend drives? -Means what can he afford, is it only fit for scraps (I wouldn't let my kid into one of those, who knows if the guy can drive or if the car falls apart on the way to the club?), can he take care of himself and her?

Someone I know had to spend about 6000€ on their American car just to get it to German safety standards. Just think about that.

19.  DO NOTHING ON SUNDAYS.

Sunday is the day everyone has off. No stores are open, you can't go shopping unless you do it at the flea markets or in a gas station shop, the whole family has off, 

so they enjoy it together.

If you're in your twenties you probably just came home from the clubs (in Germany i haven't found a single club that closes before 4-5am or even later) and you need the Sunday to get over your hangover, relax before you go back to work on Monday, get some energy for the next stressful week.
You can go see a movie, go to an amusement park, meet friends for brunch, do some sports or enjoy a lazy day.
No, mostly you won't get surgery done at the weekend unless it's an emergency.

20. WATCH TATORT

I never got the whole Tatort thing, because there are so many better German crime shows, but it cracks me up to see my home city on TV, my home accent and slang or parts of Germany I have been to in a movie series where they say this is the mansion of so-and-so and you know it's the museum in Essen or this is the police department and for real it's the waterworks.
-Just the way New Yorkers are about CSI:NY or Princetonians about House MD.




Can't wait for part 3? Just have patience.

Missed part 1? Here you go...

http://hairandcultureshock.blogspot.com/2013/01/how-to-be-german-in-25-easy-steps-part-3.html

How to be German in 25 easy steps -Part 1

I just found this amazing website, written by an English dude living in Germany
and I couldn't stop laughing.
He's right!
Not 100% right, but every German find him/herself in this or at least someone they know.


how-to-be-german-in 25 easy steps-part-1

#1 Put on your house shoes

here I'm part of the exception. I hate house shoes. I love bare feet. running around my own apartment dressing however I like, don't know what I'd do if my house was completely tiled (maybe thick socks instead?), but no house shoes. They remind me of old people, my grandpa always had his house shoes next to the bed,next to his lazy boy chair when he took a nap.

Maybe that's the reason why house shoes always make me think of old people.

#2 Eat a long breakfast

For my parents' birthdays, mother's day, Easter  we kids always made a big breakfast. I went to the bakery to get fresh rolls, boiled eggs, brought all cold cuts, marmalade/jam,  honey, Nutella (you can't have breakfast without Nutella!) etc to the kitchen table, made coffee...It's a family thing.

Now that I'm grown up, I don't mind that anymore unless we get special guests or something.

When I have a job, it's already hard to get up in the morning, I usually take a sandwich with me to work, but I can't eat in the morning. Blergh.



#3 Planning, Preparation, Process

I hate preparation, but if I have to do something -move to another country, plan a business trip, I do it right...my best friend is a list.

#4 Get some insurances

The first time living outside my parents home, I only had the minimum insurance, just in case I damaged something in the apartment, burnt down my household effects. (and you can't have a job or anything in Germany without health insurance, no one would take you as a worker if you weren't insured)

But i felt uneasy. 

-what, if I get sick and can't work anymore? -a disability insurance would be nice.

-what if the public pension won't be enough? -a private pension insurance would do the trick.

-what if my cell phone gets stolen or breaks? -a cell phone insurance would take care of it.

Germans basically have the Aflac commercial running through their heads nonstop when it comes to insurances.

#5 Dress seriously

We have mothers who are always yelling to get our coats on outside just in case it gets cold. And don't forget an umbrella!

We are 'just-in-case'-people. And that's not only about clothing.

My handbag is so full it's like carrying a corpse with you everywhere you go.

-just in case you or someone with you gets a headache, take painkillers with you.

-maybe you'll have an upset stomach, take some Prilosec/Omep with you.

-what if you get hungry, maybe put some snacks in.

-low sugar, take some candy.

-thirsty. need some water/juice/coke.

-the trip gets boring, take a book.

-miss your family, bring pictures.

-cut your finger, bring band aids.

-dirty bathroom, take desinfectant.

-dry skin, need hand lotion.

and those are just the extras besides makeup, keys, cell phone, wallet...

#6 Speak German

German is hard. Especially for foreigners.

But in a way Germans are like the French, if you're a tourist and try to speak some German, they love you.

If you try in your language or in English  many think you just don't take an effort or try to play dumb.

People in general are stupid.

*shrugs*

We all had English at school, a minimum should be possible.

But you still have people -especially young ones- in stores, salons, on the street, who'll look at you like a deer in headlights when something not-German comes out of your mouth.

#7 Get some more qualifications

In Germany, if you're an idiot, you have to have a paper stating that you are.

No one cares if you can speak a certain language -if it's not your native language or you have a paper stating that you can, no one will believe you.

In Germany everything works with college qualifications or apprenticeships (which usually take 3 years work and vocational school, you have to take a test at the end to prove you're fit to do the job you apprenticed for).

If you get a job without that, you only get minimum wage (waiter, call center, bar maid, cleaning crew...) or you're a student with a side job. Your boss won't pay for part of your health insurance either and you won't get paid vacation time.

#8 Obey the red man

Germans don't follow aaaaalll the rules. 

The English are happy to stand in line all day long, Germans hate it with a passion.

Some cheat, some start complaining for another checkout counter after less than 3 minutes.

But yes, if you don't wait for the light to change, most will yell at you or think you're a rebellious teenager and a bad role model for little kids.

9. Drink Apfelsaftschorle

For me now living in a strange country and trying to cope with it, it's diet Coke.;)

You can't go wrong with diet Coke, it takes the same everywhere you go.

The orange, apple and cherry juices in the states completely freak me out. Nothing tastes as it should.

Cherry juice is made from tart cherries, sugar, sugar substitute or whatever is added, but it's tart. 

Orange juice -especially the ones that are refrigerated, have to taste fresh and have some acid and are mostly made from navel oranges.

If you drink non-carbonated water, most Germans immediately think of tab water (which is perfectly fine to drink in Germany by the way, no filter or anything needed).

Which automatically makes them think of tough times, having no money for other beverages...

So yes, carbonated water is 'classic'.

#10 Eat German food

Can't say it's not right.

But no, not all Germans eat sausage and sauerkraut and ham hock all day long.

-especially not sauerkraut on a freaking hot dog, we prefer our hot dogs Danish style, thank you very much. (ketchup, mustard, hot dog sauce/remoulade, fried or fresh onions and pickled gherkins -where, oh where can i find pickles in the state of Pennsylvania that are not dill or ridiculously sweet???)

That's what's so disappointing about German restaurants in the states.

No, not every dinner includes red cabbage or sauerkraut or spätzle for goodness sake!

We don't eat schnitzel every day!

And what you call Wiener or Frankfurter or Nürnberger is a sacrilege!

So that's it for today, part 2 comes in a bit :)


http://hairandcultureshock.blogspot.com/2013/01/how-to-be-german-in-25-easy-steps-part-2.html

http://hairandcultureshock.blogspot.com/2013/01/how-to-be-german-in-25-easy-steps-part-3.html

Yes, I know it's been a looong while...

...but for the time being, I wrote a review to a book on Goodreads.com!
Will start with my ramblings again soon, promise!

Black Lace by J.V.K.
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Black Lace tries to create a great new refreshing view of vampires and how their world works, I was quite surprised when I picked it up for free on amazon.com (eBook).

What made it really hard for me to read after all is: it's not edited -AT ALL.
I read it on my phone and/or on my laptop and on every page are about 2-4 errors, grammar and spelling.
The classic 'were' and 'we're' were not even that bad, but double r, double s, silent e were sometimes ignored, words spelled as they are pronounced, too many or not enough commas, proverbial modifiers in the wrong places of the sentence structure or twice in a sentence so you don't know where they belong.
'he' and 'she' mixed up (or sometimes there were two 'he's in a scene or conversation, which was even worse), so in some scenes you have to sift through to get who's meant when, who says what -or have to guess and go on. Loooots of syntax jumbles.
(and I'm not a grammar-Nazi, English is a foreign language to me, but I'm reading English books for years and never had so many problems understanding connections or following a story-line which took the fun out of reading it and made it more into examining someone elses term papers.)
Story-wise there are memory jumps in the middle of conversations, awkward or no transitions...
It reads like a first draft -a good first draft with lots of ideas, but still in the kind of heavy-handed, awkward
construction phase before revision and editing.

If this gets reworked, I can't wait to pick it up again -and pay money for it!


View all my reviews