The big move

Ok, so this post is about what's on my mind these last couple of weeks.
Maybe someone would be interested in the point of view and differences to the US.

We're thinking about moving back to Germany.
We both realized the US and its ways and views don't make us happy, so instead of fighting through, we decided to go back to where we were happy.

When I get to Germany, I'll have to deal with going to city hall and tell them that I'll be back living in the city.
In Germany you can't just move wherever you want and no one's the wiser. You have to get the address on your ID changed in the first couple of weeks after the move otherwise you have to pay mean fees. Sounds weird to Americans, but on the other hand we don't have 'warrant strike teams' showing up in the middle of the night because they're looking for someone who didn't pay their child support who might live somewhere in the vicinity and take them to the police station in cuffs. The police, courts etc already know where you live, so they can send you a letter instead.

So it's a bit of a catch22, you have to go to city hall and get your ID changed with a new address etc, but you can't do that unless you already have a rent contract for an apartment (as proof that you're really living in that city).
Without a German address on your ID you won't be able to create a German bank account or e.g. apply for unemployment (as that's city and not state business). Without the German bank account you can't pay your rent or get a 'pay cheque' as in Germany the money gets paid via money transfer and not via paper 'checque' that you have to put into your account. And you wont get paid cash either unless it's under the table.

So a lot of things to take care of plus i'm still trying to get my drivers license here before moving (it depends on the US state what happens when you want to exchange the license for a German one, some don't get accepted at all, others are OK if you take your written test again in Germany to verify, others just take it as is and give you a German one without a problem. Thank goodness PA is one of those!)
Getting a drivers license in Germany is a lot harder and costs alot more money, as in aprox. 2000$ give or take.
You have to take theory classes as Germany has a lot less signs on the roads and more laws and restriction etc that you'll have to keep in mind for driving( no 'attention, there's a stop sign coming soon'-signs or 'this curve should be driven no faster than 15mph'-signs or speed limit signs everywhere, it depends on the kind of roads and where they are -close to schools or suburban neighbourhoods etc, and your theory classes should have taught you how fast you're allowed to drive).
You pay for those classes and are not allowed to do road classes until you sat through a certain amount of theory hours.
Then you'll start driving lessons with an instructor, you're not allowed to drive alone or even with a person 21 or older etc, you're only allowed to drive in your lessons until you pass your road test.
There's a certain number of highway lessons, night lessons etc you have to have and succeed in until your instructor tells you you're ready for your tests.
And then again, you'll have to pay for your written test and for your road test and if you fail, you'll have to pay that amount again (and it's not just 35$ like here, as far as i know e.g. your road test may cost up to 500€ a pop, your written test 200 or 300€ a pop).
So I took my written test a couple of weeks ago here in Philly, it took me about 5min and I passed and got my permit which allows me to practice driving on the road with a family member or friend who teaches me.
When I feel secure enough, i'll take my road test, and i'm done.
The Germans will groan now as their written test takes at least an hour and the questions are a lot more specific and some even mathematical (if you go 50mph how much room do you need between yourself and the car in front of you to not ram it in case it does a full stop? how much do you need if the street is wet? -and they want EXACT answers, no 'about 4-5seconds' or 'maybe 3 car lengths').

So keep your fingers crossed for me!
And If anyone is interested, I'll write some more about differences in moving abroad and in the states and what you have to keep in mind.
-ever had to think about buying light fixtures or a kitchen when you moved?
Well Germans do it all the time...more at a later time ;)

how to be german in 25 easy steps -Part 2

So this is part 2 of a German explains and wonders about
how to be german in 20 easy steps part 2


Enjoy -and if you have any questions, feel free to ask ;)

11. EAT SAUERKRAUT

Sour and salty is to us like sweet and sour for Chinese.

It tastes good. Just like Americans like their sweet potatoes with *shudder* marshmallows on top (really???).

But that doesn't mean -as I already said in the last post- not all Germans eat sauerkraut and sauerkraut and coarse bratwurst or sauerkraut and kassler are their own meals and I never knew anyone who just ate sauerkraut by itself without potatoes or potato-mash.

12. LOOK FOR A JOB

As I already said in #7

"In Germany everything works with college qualifications or apprenticeships (which usually take 3 years work and vocational school, you have to take a test at the end to prove you're fit to do the job you apprenticed for).

If you get a job without that, you only get minimum wage (waiter, call center, bar maid, cleaning crew...) or you're a student with a side job. Your boss won't pay for part of your health insurance either and you won't get paid vacation time."

A real job in Germany counts as a full-time job, something with health benefits, enough money to pay your rent, living costs etc and no job, that just gets paid by the hour and you need 3 of those to survive and you're not f'%&$ed when you get sick for longer periods of time because you get paid anyway.

13. LEARN HOW TO OPEN A BEER BOTTLE WITH ANYTHING BUT A BOTTLE OPENER

As a teenager, that's basically the first thing you learn to do -open your beer with a lighter or on a sharp edge no matter whether a window sill, a knife, a spoon or whatever.

One of my friends could open his beer with a folded piece of paper.

-What would your parents say if they see a bottle opener on your key-chain or you took the family opener out on the street with you?

14. SAY WHAT YOU MEAN

Everyone here in the US says "Hi, how are you?" no matter where you go, the doctor's office, the store, the pub...

Now how many of those people actually mean it and want to know about how you feel or how your day went?

The nurse in the doctor's office should realize that the question answered itself 

because you have an appointment or came in there unannounced, so you feel sick, right?

And the person at the checkout recites the sentence cause it's in the book/rules.

So why do you all do and say your weird little small talks and make people think you 'care' until you come to the point and they realize you did all this because you want something from them?

Your boss doesn't need to be 'nice' to you an

d pretend that you're oh-so-good-friends and you're no 5 year old who needs to hear good things before the critique starts. Grow up.

Americans talk around the point a lot and for foreigners who aren't used to your culture, your language and your way to treat things have a big problem seeing through all these diversions and take it as pure fakeness when they get it.

Same with talking with a higher octave to appear friendly -that's a thing you do with toddlers because they're not developed enough yet and it seems ridiculous when people hear your normal voice after a while.

You don't need to butter up, it just makes you seem more slippery.

15. FEEL MIXED ABOUT BERLIN

I don't know about other people and there are probably a lot who love Berlin and many move or try to move there, but for me it's just a tourist stronghold (like bavaria for that matter) and full of hipsters.

There are quirky and artsy people everywhere, you don't need Berlin for that.

On top of that, I'm a child of the Ruhr Area, a big blob in the middle of a lot of nothing like Berlin just isn't for me.

16. HATE BAVARIA

Exactly as the text says.

Everyone's German prejudice comes from Bavaria and most of the time, we, the 'other' Germans 1. don't understand what they say either 2. think they all seem like parts of sentimental films with regional background from the 50s/60s (but not our part of 'native') -in German it's called 'Heimatfilm' and 3. call it shady/murky/dusky Germany 'Dunkeldeutschland'

17. SPEAK FREELY ABOUT SEX

Maybe now I'm totally prejudiced, but skinny dipping is an English term, so you must do it, too, right?

And not talking openly (even at school etc) about sex is what makes teens use snickers wrappers instead of condoms, wives unhappy with their husbands and women feel like freaks when they find something 'unusual'(whatever that means to you).

But I'm from the land where actors can keep their ass cracks in movies and TV series(they just won't show them at noon but when little kids are supposed to be in bed and that's not only because of sex scenes but because of violence and language as well) and no one watching TV gets a heart attack because Angelina Jolie has nipples when she has sex with Ethan Hawke in Taking lives .
Get over it.

18. LOVE YOUR CAR.

I don't even have a driver's license, but I see the guys lingering at the self-car-wash at the weekends cleaning their Mercedes and Volkswagen and Toyotas and being proud of them. Just like many do in the states.
There are car clubs in the US, there are car clubs in Germany.

Cars, even German cars, cost A LOT more in Germany than in the states.
If you can afford one, treat it right, make it look nice, so you'll be able to sell it later when you want/need another one.

Dads ask about the car their daughter's boyfriend drives? -Means what can he afford, is it only fit for scraps (I wouldn't let my kid into one of those, who knows if the guy can drive or if the car falls apart on the way to the club?), can he take care of himself and her?

Someone I know had to spend about 6000€ on their American car just to get it to German safety standards. Just think about that.

19.  DO NOTHING ON SUNDAYS.

Sunday is the day everyone has off. No stores are open, you can't go shopping unless you do it at the flea markets or in a gas station shop, the whole family has off, 

so they enjoy it together.

If you're in your twenties you probably just came home from the clubs (in Germany i haven't found a single club that closes before 4-5am or even later) and you need the Sunday to get over your hangover, relax before you go back to work on Monday, get some energy for the next stressful week.
You can go see a movie, go to an amusement park, meet friends for brunch, do some sports or enjoy a lazy day.
No, mostly you won't get surgery done at the weekend unless it's an emergency.

20. WATCH TATORT

I never got the whole Tatort thing, because there are so many better German crime shows, but it cracks me up to see my home city on TV, my home accent and slang or parts of Germany I have been to in a movie series where they say this is the mansion of so-and-so and you know it's the museum in Essen or this is the police department and for real it's the waterworks.
-Just the way New Yorkers are about CSI:NY or Princetonians about House MD.




Can't wait for part 3? Just have patience.

Missed part 1? Here you go...

http://hairandcultureshock.blogspot.com/2013/01/how-to-be-german-in-25-easy-steps-part-3.html