Why I didn't keep up this blog as planned -Part 1

There are many reasons this didn't work as well as i'd hoped.
I hate whining on a blog that's not supposed to be your personal diary.
Bitching about certain things and ideas is OK,  i mean, that's what comedians make their money with, but personal complaints and self-pity for everyone to see -not my thing, i don't want your pity, i hate feeling weak and i hate admitting any kind of defeat. -so if i don't have anything else to say/write about, i just shut up and wait for better times. And so I waited. And waited...

When I came to the states I was scared shitless from the beginning.
I thought it was a bad idea for me from the start, but I believed in my husband and I believed in his friends to help me adjust and there were so many positive stories about life and work here and my qualifications and that people wanted us to be here and help us and wanted to show me things...I wanted to believe.



That's when the first problems started. Now keep in mind this is my personal story:
My health basically sucks. I have more chronic illnesses than I'd wish upon anyone.
But that's alright because we have good health insurance here, right? Right...
We paid more for medication and copay etc than I'd ever imagined.
In Germany you have to have health insurance just to live in the country.
Everyone is insured, everyone is taken care of, no matter if you're unemployed,  disabled, have a mental problem or cancer. If you don't have the money for insurance, the state takes care of it. You. Are. Insured.

You never have to worry about health problems that turn into a financial crisis.
If you have a car accident, you're taken care of -no fights with the other persons insurance  no fight with your own insurance. Everything healthwise is taken care of and you won't have to fear for losing your home, having no money to buy food or losing your damn job because you're sick (no matter how long it takes).
You don't have to go to work with a broken collar bone because you'd lose your job otherwise.
They want you to be healthy and productive and you can't be productive if you're in constant pain or having problems later on because you didn't let your break/flu/injury heal properly.

You have the best doctors in the world here in the states -if you have the money to pay for them.
In Germany that's not an issue. Basic health insurance is for everyone.-and our basic contains more than US basic!
You don't have to tangle with your provider for every freaking thing you need done. We don't have nurses in a doctor's office that only do paperwork and fight with insurance companies. We don't need labs that take your blood with tests that cost a fortune because of 'legal problems' (or better say: without being scared of being sued to oblivion and ridiculous insurances that cost them a fortune because of said fear).
a blood test i got done in Germany every 3-6 months (because i'm diabetic and i have crohn's) that cost me nothing there and even if i had to pay for it, it wouldn't be more than 200-300€, costs 1600$ here for Christ's sake!
If you need a cat scan or a colonoscopy in the states your doctor has to fight your case with the insurance company and then THEY tell you when and where to go IF you're allowed to have one! And you have to figure out how to pay your copay.
In Germany doctor's don't order a big procedure just because they feel like it, they order it because it's NEEDED and the insurance has to cover it, end of story.
And if you don't like your doc, choose another one(and that counts for primary physicians as well as obgyns and other specialists, you choose, your insurance doesn't choose for you).

In Germany you have 5-10€ copay to your medication, tops. They even stopped doc visit co pays altogether in 2013, but before that it was 10€ to your primary and if you didn't have a referral it was 10€ to your specialist -per term,as in every 3months, NOT per visit!
-If your yearly copay is over 2% of your income, you can even get a free pass.
You get yellow slips from your doctor that exempt you from work if you're too sick or too contagious to work and by law you have to stay home, no employer can make you go to work if they got a yellow slip from you -and they can't fire you either (and they get reimbursed for paying your wage in that time, so there's no loss).
Here you have to take vacation days if you get a procedure done or you have to go back to work although you just got needles stuck into your eyes!
And every time you see a doc, it's 20,30,40,50$ a pop(=every.single.time.you.go.there) depending on your health insurance.

And still there are people who begrudge a general health insurance in the states?
People suffer, good law abiding working people have to borrow money from their friends and families for crucial medication and have to do crowdfunding to get enough money for vital treatments,
and still people think there's nothing wrong here?

How many people with mental health problems end up on the streets because they couldn't afford therapy?

So  I met all my new doctors($), got blood tests done($$), had a colonoscopy($$$), got the crohn's disease angle checked and confirmed($$), finally got a prescription for it($$$ jupp, that much),
found out after months of suffering through 'mosquito attacks'in the summer that I was just allergic to the medication($$), got new stuff($$), outlasted the itch and rash and pingpong-reaction with other illness etc($$ and miserable-ness), hoped for the best, a biopsy on the rash they insisted on to make sure it's a rash($$),  had the flu from hell two times ($ as the meds lower my immune system), got scared into a CAT scan by my primary because i had insomnia for a while now and lost most of my sense of taste over the summer -but in the end just asked my GI for another change of medication and 5 days later i had my taste back($$), so cancelled the scan (so I didn't have to $$$ for something I didn't need), got told by the OB/gyn of my primary's choice when i arrived there for my appointment that they're not covered by my insurance and the first visit alone would be 175$(screw that).
The hubby got his annual checkup($$), then got Lyme disease from a tick bite (and worked through all the pain and sweats and antibiotics for a month $$), had the flu($), got tonsilitis($$), he gets needles stuck in his eyes every 6 weeks($$)...and those are just the basics of the last months beside all our regular $$ for diabetes related medication for both of us, thyroid pills and other fun stuff.
Think I now have some experience with the health system here? damn straight.
I'm broke with coverage and I don't even want to think about being without it.

For Part 2 I have to collect myself, so it might take a while again, bare with me.

how to be german in 25 easy steps -Part 2

So this is part 2 of a German explains and wonders about
how to be german in 20 easy steps part 2


Enjoy -and if you have any questions, feel free to ask ;)

11. EAT SAUERKRAUT

Sour and salty is to us like sweet and sour for Chinese.

It tastes good. Just like Americans like their sweet potatoes with *shudder* marshmallows on top (really???).

But that doesn't mean -as I already said in the last post- not all Germans eat sauerkraut and sauerkraut and coarse bratwurst or sauerkraut and kassler are their own meals and I never knew anyone who just ate sauerkraut by itself without potatoes or potato-mash.

12. LOOK FOR A JOB

As I already said in #7

"In Germany everything works with college qualifications or apprenticeships (which usually take 3 years work and vocational school, you have to take a test at the end to prove you're fit to do the job you apprenticed for).

If you get a job without that, you only get minimum wage (waiter, call center, bar maid, cleaning crew...) or you're a student with a side job. Your boss won't pay for part of your health insurance either and you won't get paid vacation time."

A real job in Germany counts as a full-time job, something with health benefits, enough money to pay your rent, living costs etc and no job, that just gets paid by the hour and you need 3 of those to survive and you're not f'%&$ed when you get sick for longer periods of time because you get paid anyway.

13. LEARN HOW TO OPEN A BEER BOTTLE WITH ANYTHING BUT A BOTTLE OPENER

As a teenager, that's basically the first thing you learn to do -open your beer with a lighter or on a sharp edge no matter whether a window sill, a knife, a spoon or whatever.

One of my friends could open his beer with a folded piece of paper.

-What would your parents say if they see a bottle opener on your key-chain or you took the family opener out on the street with you?

14. SAY WHAT YOU MEAN

Everyone here in the US says "Hi, how are you?" no matter where you go, the doctor's office, the store, the pub...

Now how many of those people actually mean it and want to know about how you feel or how your day went?

The nurse in the doctor's office should realize that the question answered itself 

because you have an appointment or came in there unannounced, so you feel sick, right?

And the person at the checkout recites the sentence cause it's in the book/rules.

So why do you all do and say your weird little small talks and make people think you 'care' until you come to the point and they realize you did all this because you want something from them?

Your boss doesn't need to be 'nice' to you an

d pretend that you're oh-so-good-friends and you're no 5 year old who needs to hear good things before the critique starts. Grow up.

Americans talk around the point a lot and for foreigners who aren't used to your culture, your language and your way to treat things have a big problem seeing through all these diversions and take it as pure fakeness when they get it.

Same with talking with a higher octave to appear friendly -that's a thing you do with toddlers because they're not developed enough yet and it seems ridiculous when people hear your normal voice after a while.

You don't need to butter up, it just makes you seem more slippery.

15. FEEL MIXED ABOUT BERLIN

I don't know about other people and there are probably a lot who love Berlin and many move or try to move there, but for me it's just a tourist stronghold (like bavaria for that matter) and full of hipsters.

There are quirky and artsy people everywhere, you don't need Berlin for that.

On top of that, I'm a child of the Ruhr Area, a big blob in the middle of a lot of nothing like Berlin just isn't for me.

16. HATE BAVARIA

Exactly as the text says.

Everyone's German prejudice comes from Bavaria and most of the time, we, the 'other' Germans 1. don't understand what they say either 2. think they all seem like parts of sentimental films with regional background from the 50s/60s (but not our part of 'native') -in German it's called 'Heimatfilm' and 3. call it shady/murky/dusky Germany 'Dunkeldeutschland'

17. SPEAK FREELY ABOUT SEX

Maybe now I'm totally prejudiced, but skinny dipping is an English term, so you must do it, too, right?

And not talking openly (even at school etc) about sex is what makes teens use snickers wrappers instead of condoms, wives unhappy with their husbands and women feel like freaks when they find something 'unusual'(whatever that means to you).

But I'm from the land where actors can keep their ass cracks in movies and TV series(they just won't show them at noon but when little kids are supposed to be in bed and that's not only because of sex scenes but because of violence and language as well) and no one watching TV gets a heart attack because Angelina Jolie has nipples when she has sex with Ethan Hawke in Taking lives .
Get over it.

18. LOVE YOUR CAR.

I don't even have a driver's license, but I see the guys lingering at the self-car-wash at the weekends cleaning their Mercedes and Volkswagen and Toyotas and being proud of them. Just like many do in the states.
There are car clubs in the US, there are car clubs in Germany.

Cars, even German cars, cost A LOT more in Germany than in the states.
If you can afford one, treat it right, make it look nice, so you'll be able to sell it later when you want/need another one.

Dads ask about the car their daughter's boyfriend drives? -Means what can he afford, is it only fit for scraps (I wouldn't let my kid into one of those, who knows if the guy can drive or if the car falls apart on the way to the club?), can he take care of himself and her?

Someone I know had to spend about 6000€ on their American car just to get it to German safety standards. Just think about that.

19.  DO NOTHING ON SUNDAYS.

Sunday is the day everyone has off. No stores are open, you can't go shopping unless you do it at the flea markets or in a gas station shop, the whole family has off, 

so they enjoy it together.

If you're in your twenties you probably just came home from the clubs (in Germany i haven't found a single club that closes before 4-5am or even later) and you need the Sunday to get over your hangover, relax before you go back to work on Monday, get some energy for the next stressful week.
You can go see a movie, go to an amusement park, meet friends for brunch, do some sports or enjoy a lazy day.
No, mostly you won't get surgery done at the weekend unless it's an emergency.

20. WATCH TATORT

I never got the whole Tatort thing, because there are so many better German crime shows, but it cracks me up to see my home city on TV, my home accent and slang or parts of Germany I have been to in a movie series where they say this is the mansion of so-and-so and you know it's the museum in Essen or this is the police department and for real it's the waterworks.
-Just the way New Yorkers are about CSI:NY or Princetonians about House MD.




Can't wait for part 3? Just have patience.

Missed part 1? Here you go...

http://hairandcultureshock.blogspot.com/2013/01/how-to-be-german-in-25-easy-steps-part-3.html